Cuz I don't have enough time wasters in my life
They’re all red and green!
Christmas Skittles are nothing more than a handful of disappointment.
You pick up a red one thinking, “Yes! This will be a delicious strawberry Skittle, the king of Skittles!” and you joyfully pop it in your mouth, expecting sweet, wonderful berry goodness.
And then it’s fuckin’ grape flavor.
A week has gone by and they’re still not training me yet
My job is so boring and completely lacking in ANYTHING to do that today I literally started praying that the Doctor would suddenly appear in my office and whisk me away to go gallivanting throughout time and space.
I trust all my technologies except this one.
“Okay, my trusty Garmin, help me get home!”
“In point three miles, turn left.”
“Ugh, no, are you crazy? I hate that street. We’re going this way, Garmin. Geez, c’mon. Try to keep up.”
She raises a valid point
- Roomie: "Whenever I miss your Katie craziness I will be sure to call you."
- Me: "No! Only texting. If you call me I won't answer."
- Roomie: "But how do you know it won't be about something serious? What if I'm like, 'Katie! Help! I'm dying!'"
- Me: "You should be calling your parents if you're dying!"
- Roomie: "Well what if it's like, 'Katie! Help! I'm in a life-or-death situation that I need your expertise on because you spend so much time on the internet!'"
For some reason I always thought snowflakes were only traditional snowflake shaped under a microscope. Like, the actual flakes were very tiny, and the big fluffly bits we see falling are clumps of dozens of them.
My mother is a ninja
One of these days she’s gonna pop up behind me as I’m scrolling past superheros making out or something, and we’re going to have the most awkward conversation-turned-argument in the world.
i can’t tell if i’m just so into shipping i can’t see otherwise or if movies really are getting gayer
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Katie Fails at Social Interactions: Part 3
Awkward things to say within earshot of people who have grandchildren:
“Yeah, I’m 23 today! I can’t believe it. I’m getting so old!”
Things I wish I could say
“Sorry Boss, I can’t meet up to tour my future workplace right now. See, the season 5 finale of Supernatural is on rerun and I don’t wanna miss it.”
